Golf quotes

Golf is so popular simply because it is the best game in the world at which to be bad.

A. A. Milne

Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

Jim Murray

Golf is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

P. G. Wodehouse

To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

P. G. Wodehouse

They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.

Walter Hagen

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.

Hank Aaron

Any persons, except players, caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed.

Michael Mayor

There is only one thing in the world dumber than playing golf and that is watching someone else playing golf.

Peter Andres

What do I think of Tiger Woods? I don't know, I've never played there.

Sandy Lyle

What is my advice to a struggling golfer? Take two weeks off and then quit the game.

Jimmy Demaret

My wife says that if I don't give up golf, she'll leave me. I'm really going to miss her.

Eric Morecambe

I don't use a long handled putter. If I'm going to miss a putt, I want to look good doing it.

Chi Chi Rodriguez

There's nothing wrong with the Old Course at St Andrew's that a hundred bulldozers couldn't put right.

Ed Furjol

I was putting like a blind lobotomised baboon.

Tony Johnson

Are there bunkers in St. Andrews?

Tiger Woods

The sign of a good golfer is a tan like mine. It tells you the player is spending a lot of time out on the fairway and the greens and not in the trees.

Lee Trevino

On the fifteenth at Royal Birkdale, we put down my bag to hunt for a ball, we found the ball but lost the bag.

Lee Trevino

The only advice my caddy gave me was to keep my putts low.

Lee Trevino

'Play it as it lies' is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is 'Wear it if it clashes.'.

Henry Beard

Essentially my caddy has been retired since he was 21.

Jack Nicklaus

I think fail a bit less than everyone else.

Jack Nicklaus

The only thing a player can control at golf is his own game, so concern about what other competitors may or may not be doing is both a useless distraction and a waste of energy.

Jack Nicklaus

I played golf the other day and shot a birdie. The little bastard wouldn't stop tweeting while I was trying to putt.

Mitch Murray

I spent all day yesterday wading through streams and dropping hooks into deep water. That's the last time I'm going to waste playing golf.

Tommy Cooper

Nothing increases your golf score like witnesses.

Bob Hope

I've never lost a golf ball, I've never hit one far enough to lose one.

Bob Hope

Some of these legends have been around golf a long time. When they mention a good grip, they're talking about their dentures.

Bob Hope

Sammy Davis Jr hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150 yards.

Bob Hope

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose.

Winston Churchill